


Not gonna give up on you

by natyantunes



Category: Olympics RPF, Phlochte - Fandom, Swimming RPF
Genre: M/M, Michael's comeback, fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 03:24:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2606714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natyantunes/pseuds/natyantunes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their relationship was great and Michael never felt so comfortable with someone as he felt with him, so he would never do something that could ruin it. That was until he realized how he really felt about Ryan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not gonna give up on you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ghost_Writer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Writer/gifts).



> This work was requested by Chantal, but she totally forgot about it so now it's a surprise!
> 
> It goes until some month in 2013, before Ryan moved to North Carolina. Also let's keep in mind that Michael was considering the comeback early in 2013, and he sign up with USADA around June/2013.
> 
> English is not my first language, so even though I revised the text, there might be some grammar mistakes, sorry for that.

To get where Michael was in life wasn't easy, he had to sacrifice a lot, much more than people could imagine: his social life  (of course he went out some times, but his weird work out times meant he couldn't be with his friends as often as he desired) , his privacy  (even grocery shopping could be a challenge) ,  he couldn't have “bad mood” days (and he was pretty sure that's the reason he fought so much with Bob, he was the only one who would allow him to throw his tantrums from time to time) otherwise people would judge him as a douche bag, which he wasn't but how would they know? He basically couldn't be himself, and he couldn't even remember when he started faking it. After all his achievements, good manners and great motivational speeches he thought he could consider himself as a role model, and, even with bad past occurrences in his personal life (his capacity to overcome bad situations should also be seen as a good trait after all), people also saw him this way.  But in order to achieve this status his entire life was shaped and modeled the way people wanted him to be, and not how he really was, so the result  is : people had a wrong idea of who Michael Phelps really was.  He kne w he was seen as an Olympic hero, and he was  flattered,  but attached to the eight golds and the “hero” image also came the “Perfection” one. He didn't want to be ungrateful, he was actually very thankful for everyone who stayed by his side for so long, but there was only  too much pressure one could deal with,  and being perfect wasn't something Michael even wanted to try.

 

As known by everyone, he was the awkward, clumsy and bullied kid, something he didn't got over easily even with one Olympic Game and World Record s under his belt. Thinking about his childhood and teenage years, one thing that could keep his mind on track and not let him think less of himself was swimming. Swimming always made him feel good, accepted and talented, it was something that he excelled at and he was proud of it. So  it helped him to get through one of the worst phases in life, specially for someone who felt like a misfit.  B ut the lack of social interaction at that time meant he grew up to be someone  who couldn't express his feelings with words, and it made it hard to deal with difficult situations,  to the point he couldn't recognize his own feelings sometimes.  You could say swimming was his home. Not his second home, but his first. No other place could make him feel better than the pool, so he was surprised when found himself not wanting it anymore. The pool lost its appeal to him and felt like he had already achieved so much that he couldn't get any better.  He still had goals, but no motivation.  He didn't felt like he belonged  anymore, that's when he decided: he couldn't force himself, he wasn't happy anymore, so he was going to retire. 

 

It didn't  take long for Michael to find a good motivation to keep attending swim meets and training hard until London, and the motivation came with a name: Ryan Lochte.  Maybe the lack of a real relationship was the reason he started this to begin with,  but if he stopped and thought about it, their friendship was different from the very beginning,  he knew it since they first met at the 2004 Olympic trials. Michael wasn't yet over his weird teenage years and didn't know how to deal with whatever he was feeling at the time, and on top of that he was very self conscious about his  ears and lisp, his  body  in general, and tried his best not to let his mind go there, he knew it could create an expectation that would never be achieved. During the years their friendship only grew,  and the distance didn't matter as they texted each other multiple times a day and talked on the phone at least twice a week. Still, he didn't let himself think of Ryan as anything other than his best friend, except when he decided to drink anything alcoholic, then he would simply lost control of is own mind. Their relationship was great and Michael never felt so comfortable with someone as he felt with him, so he would never do something that could ruin it. That  wa s until he realized how he really felt about Ryan.

 

Finally he had made it. Eight golds. He was exhausted. But it wasn't enough. Not for media anyway. It didn't matter how much Michael won and how much he accomplished, they would always find something to criticize. This time he didn't look happy enough, it didn't seem he wanted it enough. Actually Michael was ecstatic. So many things could have gone wrong – and they did -, but the eight golds were his, and no one could take that away from him. How could he not be happy?  But he didn't want to party, he didn't want to go do dinners or even give any interviews –  _he was_ _exhausted –_ and nothing looked more attractive than his bed after swimming that much. So that's exactly what he decided to do, sleep. He should have seen it coming though. Sharing a room with Ryan Lochte at the Olympics meant some celebration would happen  at some point , Michael wanting it or not.  At least he could sleep for a couple of hours, because at that same night Ryan bought Pizza and wings, it was Friday. They ate and they drank and they talked. A lot. It was a moment Michael would never forget, because at that moment, with their stomachs full and little drunk (from the beer and happiness),  t he y just let  themselves stare at  each other , and he knew. He was in love with him. 

 

Their relationship evolved from there, and it grew slowly. People didn't know they were dating – not just  _people,_ but everyone, their relationship was between the two of them only – even after they officially started dating, and after the three words were said to each other.  They knew each other as friends, but they had a lot to learn and not much time to effectively be with each other, and, considering all the difficulties they would have to go through, they decided it was for the best. Even so they were making it work. They understood each other very well and they loved each other, so they were trying their best.  Until retirement came for Michael. “Finally!” it was all Michael could think of after London. They were seeing each other even less than they would normally while training, but for a while it didn't change their relationship, they knew they could never be like a normal couple. 

 

Michael partied, Michael golfed, Michael had fun. A lot of fun. It was all he could ever ask, It was all he was waiting for, so it was easy to forget to answer Ryan's texts, or to call him before he  went to bed. Michael could have cheated on Ryan, there were opportunities everywhere he went – but no. If anything, it just made him realize that Ryan was  _the_ one. But communication didn't get any easier, Michael got caught  up in himself.  During the filming for The Haney Project he was asked to teach Hank how to swim properly, to give him some tips. He haven't been in the pool for a while, but it was OK, he needed to exercise because he was already gaining some weight. What he did not expected was to get out of the pool more than two hours after he got in, and feeling the best he felt in  _years._ He was tired of partying  (what was he supposed to be celebrating? He didn't remember anymore), he have had enough of golf (he was not getting much better, and he didn't have any more patience left), but he was still having fun. He was happy in retirement, it is true, but he wasn't fulfilled, he felt like he was never accomplishing anything and there was always something missing.  He knew Ryan could feel something was wrong, he could feel Ryan knew he was retreating, but instead of saying something he decided to give Michael time to think, which he was tremendously grateful for.  B ut he felt the need to do something for Ryan, to prove him that yes, he loved him, he was there for him and this was just a phase. 

 

It wasn't an easy thinking process.  He never thought that would happened to him, he was so sure of it before, but he knew whatever happened he wouldn't regret.  He spent months thinking about it, what were the odds and if it was worth it, but h e needed that again, he needed the adrenaline back, he needed the control he had over it, so he decided to comeback.  He talked to Bob about it, and he could see how happy Michael was when he was at the pool,  he could see through him, exactly like his mom. As soon as he told her he knew she was just waiting for a confirmation, she already knew how he felt about being in the pool again way before himself was able to figure it out. Now there was one person he needed to talk about it: Ryan.  Lately they were barely talking and Michael knew it was his fault, but Ryan was giving him the space he knew he needed and now was the time to give it back to him. Ryan was nothing but generous and comprehensive about it all, and it surprised him how strong their relationship still was. Michael was extremely happy he found someone that could understand him that well, so he knew it was time to prove to Ryan how he felt. They have been dating for almost five years, but Michael never done any gesture to prove his love for him, nothing but words, while Ryan has done it countless times. It wasn't something Ryan expected from him, Ryan knew him very well and he always understood Michael’s difficulties and insecurities in a relationship,  so Michael knew it was going to be a surprise. He decided to take a big step in their relationship, not that big for some people, but it meant a lot for Michael and it was something he felt ready for. Without telling Ryan, he bought a plane ticket for Gainesville.

 

After landing he took a cab and called Ryan.

 

“Hey babe” he answered in the first ring “you're up early, what's up?”

 

“Hey, you still at the pool?” Michael asked wondering how much time he had left for thinking.

 

“Yeah, just got out actually.” Ryan answered with curiosity, Michael knew his schedule.

 

“Oh, great. I'll meet you at your door then” Michael said smiling in anticipation.

 

“You what...? You came? Why you here?” Michael swear he could listen Ryan smiling on the other side of the line.

 

“Have to tell you something, just get in the car and come home” Michael was still smiling to himself while getting out of the cab. He didn't even got an answer, Ryan had already hung up the phone.

 

***

 

“Should I be scared, happy, what...?” Ryan was smiling. They were sitting in Ryan's couch in the living room and Ryan had a hand in Michael’s thigh.

 

“Hm... You know how I have been kinda... well... distant... lately, right?” OK, that wasn't smooth as he played it in his mind. Michael didn't know how to do that, He was like everybody else but was never treated like it, everyone always made it easier for him, so he was stuck in the situation. He had no idea how to verbalize his thoughts, his emotions. 

 

“Yes... I knew something was in your head and you would tell me eventually. So, what is it?” Ryan said searching for something in Michael’s eyes, but Michael looked at his hands instead. 

 

“So... I thought I was gonna... You know... I've been thinking... And it's why I've been distant... And...” Michael couldn't stop fidgeting, he was moving his leg uncontrollably. He knew it was going to be difficult, but not like that. But Ryan didn't let him try and finish his sentence, he held his leg tighter, his other hand moved to Michael’s chin and moved it to make him look at his eyes. 

 

“MP, relax. I know you're trying to tell me something important, but you're making me nervous already.” Ryan said taking his hand and looking him in his eyes. His hands were warm and his eyes gentle, which gave Michael courage to tell him. 

 

“OK, sorry... So... you know I've been distant, and I was thinking about some stuff going on... in my life... And... well, you kinda knew it already... Somehow... But I decided to comeback.” Michael said with his eyes closed, it made it easier somehow.

 

“You... What?!” Ryan looked at him in disbelief, there was a shock expression in Ryan's face. That wasn't what he expected to hear.

 

“I'm coming back, to swimming.” Michael said now looking at Ryan's eyes.

 

“Are you for real?!” Ryan asked, almost screamed actually, with a grin forming on his face.

 

“Yes... And it's not all I wanted to tell you...” Michael was still nervous, though not as much as before.

 

“Oh... There's more...?I'll have to wait to fuck you in my bed then...” Ryan knew exactly how to dissipate Michael’s tension. 

 

“Well, I've been thinking... We have been dating for a while now right? So I thought... We can't really move in with each other, at least while you are... well, at least while we are swimming” and Ryan grinned at him again “So I thought...” Michael didn't finish the sentence, instead he took a small box from his pocket “I thought about giving you this” he said handing it to Ryan. He opened it to find a golden key attached to a gold necklace. “It's the key to my house in Baltimore... Now it's yours too. And the necklace... Well... I didn't know how to give it to you, so I thought that would be a good way to show you... how... I feel... You know...” Michael said embarrassed and back to look at his hands. Only a few seconds passed, but Ryan hadn't said anything, so he didn't know if he had done the right thing.

 

“Ryan... Please say som-”

 

“I love you” Ryan cut him short, throwing himself in Michael arms. “You scared me so much! I thought you were gone for good... I thought you weren't coming back to me.”

 

“I love you Ry” Michael said smiling, he knew Ryan was the only one for him “I would never give up on you”.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! I've written before, but never Phlochte, so I hope this is ok!
> 
> A big thank you to Amanda and Chantal for putting up with me!


End file.
